We Love You More Than the World...

Thanks so much for all your suggestions about this blog. This journey has been one that I want to treasure FOREVER...the good, the bad, and everything in between. My plan is to check into the recommendations that were given and have this blog printed in book form for us to reflect on and share with our sweet baby when he/she is old enough to understand the journey we traveled to bring him/her into this world.

I changed our baby blog to public, so you can view it if you'd like to keep up with our pregnancy, plans for the baby, and everything God has planned for his/her life.

The name of our new blog is We Love You More Than the World. If you'd like to know why we chose that title, please start reading our baby blog from the beginning.

I'm not sure how often (or if) I'll keep making posts to this blog, so I hope you'll keep up with us on We Love You More Than the World as we turn the next chapter in Growing Our Own Garden.

Thoughts...

I'm trying to make a BIG decision about our Growing Our Own Garden blog. When we found out we were expecting, I created a private blog for our immediate family to watch the progress of Baby Knight, the growth of Mommy's belly, our plans for decorating the nursery. This means I have THREE blogs!!! I already have enough trouble keeping up with my original two blogs and now that school is getting ready to start and for the fact that my life is about to change in a HUGE way, I'm not sure I can keep up with three.

My dilemma is that Growing Our Own Garden has helped me through SOOOO much. I've shared heartache, struggles, triumphs, prayers, thoughts, etc on this little ole blog and I just can't stand the thought of not having it any longer. Not to mention all the FABULOUS blogger friends and support I've received too!

What are your thoughts? Should I switch over to our private blog? Should I have this blog printed out in book form (and if so, I'd love suggestions on companies you've used for this)? Should I just leave it for now and keep it active?

I'm not quite sure exactly what I should do, I just know that I definitely won't be able to keep up with all three blogs soon! Edit: After receiving a few comments, I realized I wasn't clear when talking about my private blog. I would definitely make my private blog public so everyone can share in our excitement, blessings, AND joy!

Our Pregnancy Story, Continued...

Sorry to keep you waiting on the rest of our pregnancy story. I'm really trying my best to balance work, family, our excitement over our miracle, AND blogging :)

So when I left off (on the last post), I had taken a ton of pregnancy tests and they were all coming back positive. We went in to get blood drawn to confirm our pregnancy and sure enough, my BETA was right on track. I specifically asked for another blood draw four days later to confirm that our baby was continuing to grow. To be honest, I requested a third one too...but who's counting :)

As if the two week wait wasn't long enough, the wait for our six week appointment was even worse. Unfortunately, we had not had a successful six week appointment yet. For our first pregnancy, the baby had stopped growing at five weeks and no heartbeat was detected. The second pregnancy, we didn't even make it to the six week appointment because I had a miscarriage. So as you can expect, we were on pins and needles for this appointment. The Sunday before our ultrasound, I came home from church and discovered that I had some spotting. I was devastated and called the on-call nurse. I'm a little embarrassed to share this, but I was absolutely TERRIBLE to the on-call nurse when she told me that spotting was normal and that she was sure that everything was fine. I gave her a lesson on our pregnancy history and demanded that I come in for an ultrasound the next day to make sure the baby was doing fine. There was NO WAY I could wait until Wednesday for our six week appointment. I kept my feet elevated and did absolutely nothing for the rest of the day and we went in for the ultrasound on Monday. The baby looked perfect and the doctor didn't see any more bleeding...Praise the Lord!! We kept our appointment that Wednesday and left feeling OVER THE TOP at seeing the little flicker of a heartbeat on the ultrasound screen.

At our fertility doctor, we had the privilege of having an ultrasound every week until 10 weeks. And let me tell you...each appointment got better and better and better. I thought my heart would EXPLODE with thankfulness when we saw our little baby moving around, hiccuping, wiggling, and kicking at our 10 week appointment. We brought along Jilly (my mom), Pops (my dad), and D-ma (David's mom) for that appointment and it was by far one of our favorite ultrasounds...the entire room was in tears that afternoon.

That 10 week appointment was also bittersweet...as it was our last appointment with the fertility doctors and nurses that we came to know and love. We had been through so much and they were there to hold our hands, give us advice, and encouraged us to keep trying. At the same time, we were so grateful to be taking the next step in our baby's life and moving on to our OB.

At our first OB appointment we were able to finally hear the baby's heartbeat...which was music to our ears. At each of our ultrasounds, we only saw the heartbeat, so to finally hear it was priceless.

Because of my age (39), my history with infertility, my diagnosis of APLS, my Crohn's disease, AND the two miscarriages...I'm considered a high risk pregnancy. So as expected, we will be seeing a high risk doctor along with our OB. We actually had our first appointment today and it went VERY well. We had, by far, the BEST ultrasound appointment and can't believe how big our baby has gotten. He/she is 13 weeks and 1 day and has the prettiest little profile I've ever seen!!

Just when I think that things couldn't get better, I'm overwhelmed with another positive ultrasound, result, or test.

 Praise be to God!!!

Our Pregnancy Story...

I can't even begin to thank you for all the sweet sweet comments and prayers from our last post. I started this blog in 2008 as a way to record our journey to parenthood. I had absolutely NO idea that it would take us six years to actually reach this point..it truly is all about the journey. I also had NO idea how many wonderful friends, prayer warriors, and encouragers I would meet because of this little ole blog. And I am thankful for each and everyone of you.


Before I share about how we got to this point, I want to share some fears I experienced with sharing our pregnancy...Announcing our pregnancy was a HUGE step for me. I literally prayed and prayed and prayed about how I would do it, when I would do it, and what I would say/write.

I had fear of posting too soon...which I realized was a sign of my lack of faith. Then I realized that I this pregnancy is not in my control...it's all in His hands. So all I could do was sit back, trust in His timing, and trust in His gift.

I also had fear of hurting those of you still waiting on your miracle. Far too mamy times I have been the woman reading posts or announcements from new mommies-to-be and SOBBING. Although I was so thrilled for these women to finally receive their blessing, it pained me to know that I was still in the waiting stage for our blessing. The thought of me putting someone else in that same situation REALLY upset me. But in the end, I prayed that our story, our pregancy, our baby would give hope to all of you women still waiting. My biggest advice...keep praying, keep trusting, and NEVER GIVE UP on what is in your heart.

Now, how did we get here?!?! Here is a shortened version of our pregnancy story. I need to pause for a minute and soak up those three words...OUR PREGNANCY STORY. I still can't believe that this dream is finally becoming a reality.

We did another round of IVF in May. This time though we supplemented our treatment with shots of Heparin. If you missed my post about my diagnosis from our hematologist, you can visit THIS POST to get caught up. So a week before our transfer, I started taking two Heparin shots a day. I took the rest of the medications and went in for our retrieval and was pleased with the number of quality eggs they were able to get. The eggs were fertilized and AGAIN we were over the moon with the number of embryos that we had. We were hoping for a day 5 transfer...since the last two times we received a positive pregnancy test, they were results from a 5 day transfer. Unfortunately, we received a call on day 3 that only three of our embryos had survivied and our doctor recommended that we implant THAT day. We were beyond nervous...not to mention that we had planned a Memorial Day party that SAME day...as we were expecting to have our transfer two days later (and since no one that was attending our party knew we were in the middle of a cycle, we had the party anyway). I went in early that morning for the transfer, came home and rested for a few hours, then hosted our party. I did let David do ALL the work and prayed all day that at least one of our embryos would stick. Like always, the two week wait was agonizing...but we had been through this drill four times before, so we knew to keep ourselves busy and the two week wait would fly by. I had read that the first day that the HCG hormone would enter your body would be on the eighth day after the transfer. So secretly I took a pregnancy test on the eighth day...and I saw a faint pink line that morning. I kept this to myself for the majority of the day. My parents were in town that week and David and my dad were out golfing. So I kept the BEST secret of my life to myself and waited until that evening to share with David. From that day on, we took a test every morning (to be honest, I took TWENTY-ONE tests total...one every morning for TWENTY-ONE days) and every single morning, the faint pink line became darker and darker and DARKER.

I know this post is already VERY long...so I will leave you here and continue our pregnancy story in the next post. Believe me, it was not an easy journey...but nothing worth waiting for ever really is. So stay tuned for the next chapter in our journey, you won't want to miss it.

Pray, Believe, and Receive...

David and I have some pretty special news to share today...

Enlarged in Waiting...

I came across this verse in a devotional and it DEFINITELY pulled at my heart strings.

"All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us; it's within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy."~Romans 8:22-25

I know that this verse is referring to overcoming an obstacle and that we should look upward to the Lord and be confident in expectancy...knowing that He will come soon and heal our hearts, pains, and sufferings. And what a glorious day it will be! But for me, I also see the literal translation...waiting for a baby, a pregnancy, a blessing.

The last line in the verse just blows my mind...the longer the wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.

I am so hopeful, confident, and in joyful expectancy of what the Lord has planned for us.

Not Yet...

I get several daily devotionals and sometimes I marvel at the perfect timing of some of them. Like the one I received today.

It's titled Not Yet, by Rick Warren.

This devotional revolved around the verse, "You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For, 'In just a very little while, he who is coming will come and will not delay.'" Hebrews 10:36-37

The devotional goes on to share that just because you haven't received the blessing(s) that you have prayed for, doesn't mean God is saying 'no', rather 'not yet.' Just because the answer hasn't come yet doesn't mean God isn't going to answer or that He's forgotten you or that He doesn't care about you. It just means 'not yet.'

But the best part of the devotional explained why this is happening:

"He does it so you can see how patient you are — so you know what's inside you and your level of commitment. God tests you so that you know He is faithful, even if the answers you seek are delayed.

If you're discouraged, turn it around by remembering God teaches you patience during delay. Ask Him to transform your discouragement into patience."

This devotional moved me TREMENDOUSLY this morning and I hope it does the same for all of you waiting for your answer to prayer.

Another Praise...

If you haven't heard yet, one of my dearest bloggy friends, Faith, shared some AWESOME news this weekend. If you havne't visited her blog, you can check out her post HERE.

I honestly think I've looked at her post about a million times. I was so happy when I saw her first picture and then nearly fell on the floor when I scrolled down to see her second picture.

God is faithful!!!

We are still waiting on His answer to our prayers and feel confident that whatever we ask for in prayer, if we believe, it will be giving to us. Mark 11:24.

Qwh...

A sweet sweet friend of mine emailed me an excerpt from the Beth Moore Bible Study she is doing at her church called "Looking Up, Trusting God With Your Every Need." She also shared that she and her Bible study group have been praying for me. I couldn't feel MORE blessed by sweet, thoughtful, and Godly women like her.

In the excerpt she shared, she introduced me to the word qwh. It is a Hebrew word that means "to lie in wait for someone…to expect, await, look for patiently, hope; to be confident, trust; to be enduring."

Their dicussion this day centered around this verse...

"...The Lord is my portion or share, says my living being (my inner self); therefore will I hope in Him and wait expectantly for Him. The Lord is good to those who wait hopefully and expectantly for Him, to those who seek Him [inquire of and for Him and require Him by right of necessity and on the authority of God's word]..." - Lamentations 3: 24-25

I am in qwh..waiting expectantly for the blessings that I know He will bestow on us.

Mom...

With Mother's Day tomorrow, I've been trying my best to keep my eyes fixed on the prize...a baby resulting from this next IVF procedure.

I had a doctor's appointment this morning to check on our progress and all went well. Praise the LORD for that!

Around noon, I had a knock at the door and the FedEx guy was there to deliver a package. I honestly thought he must have the wrong address because I hadn't ordered anything. But the package clearly had my name on it. So  I opened it and this is what was inside...

Chocolate covered strawberries...YUMMO!

But the card inside the box was a MILLION times better than the strawberries...

I am STILL speechless over the sweet words on this card. These words made me realize the reason I want to have a baby so much...I want David and I to be the parents that my mom and dad were (and still are) to me...ALWAYS loving, supportive, and giving.

I'm so ready to be a mom.

Afternoon Cocktail...

For the past week or so, this has been my afternoon cocktail...

Yep, you've guessed it. We're trying AGAIN! Keep us in your prayers that the Lord blesses us with the greatest gift ever :)

Confidence...

I would say that I am a pretty confident person.

I don't know what has changed, but I can remember as a child that I HATED to order my food in a restaurant. I was pretty shy growing up and dreaded our Sunday ritual of going out to lunch after church because my dad would make me order my own food. I know now that he was trying to teach us something, but then, it was like torture!

I also remember that I never wanted to eat in front of people for some reason (Lord knows I've gotten over that fear because I eat all the time, no matter who is watching)! I didn't want to eat at lunch during high school and I would NEVER eat if I was out on a date. Which only left me ravished when I got home.

I was always a leader in school too...especially when it involved dance, like on the dance teams I was on. I had NO problems directing the dance teams, teaching a routine, or making sure everyone was on task. But, if you put me in front of the class and had me do a presentation, I was terrified!

I'm not sure what happened over the years...but I've definitely overcome all those fears and feel pretty confident in each of those areas. I'm not shy about placing my order at a restaurant (even though I would prefer the hubby doing it for me...just because I think it's polite and what a husband should do). I already mentioned that I have no qualms with eating and I don't care WHO is watching :) And these days, I make presentations in front of  principals and district personnell all the time...and never skip a beat.

But one thing that I'm learning to be confident in, is God. I read this verse today...

"But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.

They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

Jeremiah 17:7-8

The truth of the matter is, I have no confidence about this next IVF cycle we plan to go through. What if I don't get the answer that I have been waiting, hoping, and praying for? It literally scares me to the core! I have to repeatedly dig down deep in my soul and remember that even when things are not aligned with my heart's desires and everything is going wrong, I must trust that He has my best interest in mind. I can't take responsibility for holding my world in my hands...my hands aren't big enough for that.

Letting go of the control and realizing that I am inadequate to be responsible for what lies ahead IS confidence. Yet, it's one of the hardest things for me.

I pray that despite what is happening around me, inside of me, and to me, that the Lord is more than enough. I believe in His Word and His promises for me. And more importantly, I have confidence that NOTHING is impossible for Him. 

A Picture is Worth...

A picture is worth a thousand words.

I saw this pin on Pinterest and it really spoke to me.

I pray every single day for all the families experiencing unexplained infertility.

Pity Party...

I have been having a rough few weeks. I stepped away from blogging for a while because I couldn't take reading about how so many others have been blessed with babies, yet we are still waiting. I know it sounds selfish and in all honesty, it is.

I think I hit rock bottom after I decided to scroll through my favorite blogs to catch up on their lives. I realized that out of ALL the ladies that I had connected with through infertility, only two of them are still waiting. What a HUGE blessing for so many women that had been praying for YEARS for their babies! But instead of being over the top happy for all these girls I kept thinking, when will it be my turn?

Unfortunately, another stressor that is ALWAYS knocking on my door is that David and I will turn 39 and 40 this summer. The closer we get to 40 the more anxiety I feel about ever becoming a mother. The trials, tests, procedures, doctors, shots, highs and lows are really starting to weigh on our hearts and minds as we continue to be patient and wait on the Lord.

I'm just so ready for it to by my turn.

Okay...my pity party is over :)

Deepest Wounds...

I saw this on quote on Twitter the other day and it really made me think about our journey and how it not only affects me, David, and our immediate family, but also how much it affects other people...

"What if our deepest wounds are the very places through which God's mercy flows through others." ~Sheila Walsh

I continue to believe that God chose this path for our lives to not only open our hearts and minds, but also to teach us about trusting Him and His timing. I've received so many sweet emails and comments over the past 7 years about how much our story has helped others, how our faithfulness is inspiring, how our strength is amazing...and the reality of it all is that MOST of the time, I feel that I am lacking faith and that I am meek, impatient, frustrated, and ALWAYS questioning God's decisions.

But this quote had me thinking that this journey isn't all about David and I...it's about all those watching us as we experience this journey and how our deepest wounds could help others overcome their greatest fears, losses, or frustrations.

In Limbo...

I received confirmation from our RE that we can move forward with another round of IVF. Can I tell you just how hard it is to decide what we should do next?!?! David and I have been talking, thinking, praying and  contemplating what our next steps should be these past few weeks. Should we try IVF again or should we just move to adoption?!?

I did realize that it is time to renew our Home Study again...can you believe it has been three years since we got our Home Study and we have yet to officially put our hat in the ring for adoption. We have our Home Study completed, our Life Book put together, an adoption agency picked out...yet we haven't pulled the trigger yet. We put our adoption journey on hold, recommended by our Social Worker, since we had planned to pursue another IVF.

We are still in limbo stage right now...not sure how to move forward, but we are praying that the Lord will lead us into the direction He has planned for us.

Down But NOT Out...

I have had a terrible past two days. I was starting to question why we are going through this journey and why we are facing so many disappointments. I had a great talk with David and my mom...which made a LOT of things better. They both put a bandaid over how I was feeling. But I was still at my breaking point when all of a sudden, several miracles started coming my way.

God never ceases to amaze me.

The first miracle was a text message that I received from one of my blogger friends. It was totally unexpected and was basically a text of encouragment that she had experienced the same thing. Two unexplained miscarriages, folic acid, aspirin, and eventually heparin...and now she is the proud mother of a precious little boy.

Then I received a sweet email from someone that reads my blog. This blogger had emailed me right after our second miscarriage to let me know she was praying for me. She decided to email me today to let me know that I am STILL in her prayers, despite what we are dealing with right now.

And as if that wasn't enough encouragement, I received a daily devotional that began with this verse..."Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again, my Savior." Psalm 42:5

My heart has been rejuvenated, my faith has been restored, my hope is overflowing!

I might have been feeling like I was down for the count, but I am definitely NOT out!

And the Results are In...

I went to my appointment today with the hematologist and I walked out of his office in a state of shock. I am so confused by the results he gave us today. David and I plan to talk today and take a few days to think about how we want to proceed. We both have mixed and confused emotions.

Here are the results...

I originally was diagnosed as having a Folic Acid deficiency. So I started taking a Folic Acid supplement on top of the prenatal vitamins. When the hematologist checked for this in my bloodwork, he didn't see the deficiency. This could be a result of me already taking the Folic Acid supplement. This is good news, well at least I think it is.

Our fertility doctor also diagnosed me as having APLS. You can read about this on my post HERE if you missed it. Although I wasn't thrilled that I was diagnosed with APLS, I felt it was a good thing to at least have an answer. Well the hematologist shared that I in fact do NOT have APLS. He said that my blood levels did not show this and that he doesn't think that I have it. When I was originally diagnosed, the doctor shared with me that the threshold for APLS ranged from a level 16-40 and mine was 19...barely over the minimium. This time when the hematologist tested my blood, I was not over 16. This is NOT good news. Well...I guess it is good that I don't have APLS, but that still leaves us with not knowing what is causing the pregnancy loss.

My hematologist did recommend that I take Heparin shots and baby aspirin a week before transfer, if we decided to do IVF again. And to continue with the Heparin throughout the pregnancy.

So long story short...the results are in, but we aren't quite sure what to do with the results yet.

Please pray for us!!!

Hematologist Appointment...

The devil is working his nasty little tail off to try and bring me down. But it's not going to happen...no matter how hard he tries. Let me explain...

About three weeks ago, I scheduled my appointment to see the hematologist immediately after speaking with our fertility doctor. The day before my appointment, I received a phone call from the nurse, confirming my appointment and the location. This particular hematologist has two offices/locations. I wasn't familiar with one of the locations, so as I was traveling to my appointment the next day, I called the office to make sure I was traveling in the right direction. The receptionist seemed puzzled as we were talking and shared that my appointment was actually at the other location. I told her to please call that location to let them know that I was going to be a little late because the reception that called to confirm my appointment had actually told me the WRONG location. We hung up and proceeded to travel to my appointment. Not five seconds later, I received a phone call from the same nurse letting me know that the hematologist had already left for the day!! I was BEYOND mad at this point. The nurse asked me to give her a call once I got out of my car so we could set up another appointment. She could tell that I was frustrated because of this inconvenience.

I got home and called the doctor's office to set up another appointment. The Lord knew I was at my breaking point and he sent the sweetest lady to help me reschedule my appointment. She was kind, apologetic for the mix up, and literally calmed me down within a few minutes of being on the phone. We rescheduled my appointment for the following week.

The devil doesn't give up that easily though. The day before my rescheduled appointment, the receptionist called to confirm my appointment and the location again. I specifically asked her again if she could confirm the location because of the mix up I had the previous week. She seemed irritated at the mention of that situation and was not very friendly when I called the NEXT day to confirm again before I left work for the appointment.

I get to my appointment on time and the doctor doesn't see me until an hour later...can you say FRUSTRATION?!?!? During my meeting with the hematologist, I found out that he is partners with the doctor I see for my Remicade (my colitis medication). I WISH I would have known this because I am already familiar with my Remicade doctor and his office is less than five minutes from my work!! In any event, the hematologist wanted to run all the same tests over again to confirm what our fertility doctor had recommended. This meant that I had to go the very next day to have another pint of blood withdrawn and then wait ANOTHER TWO WEEKS for the results.

I have definitely learned the meaning of patience...I honestly feel like the most patient person in the entire world!!

I scheduled an appointment for this past Friday to meet with the hematologist and get my results. It also just so happened that I was scheduled to have Remicade that same day too. My hematologist appointment was scheduled for 9:00 a.m. and my Remicade for 2:00 p.m. I'm sure you know what happened...I received a call the day before my appointments to let me know that I had to reschedule one of the appointments because my file could not be in both places on the same day. WHAT?!?!?!? Needless to say, I kept my Remicade appointment and rescheduled my hematologist appointment for tomorrow, Monday, at 2:10 p.m.

This seems like some sick joke, doesn't it????

Please pray that we get some answers tomorrow AND that my appointment is not rescheduled for any reason. We are so ready to confirm what our fertility doctor suspects and be able to move forward in this journey.

By the way, I've decided to change my name to Job...I'm sure this is exactly what he felt like!!!!

Answers...

We had our follow up appointment with our fertility doctor yesterday to review the results from all the bloodwork I had taken a few weeks ago. We thought it was a good visit because we finally got some ANSWERS!

I promised myself that I would share all the tests that our doctor ran on me, mainly because I want anyone and everyone that is going through fertility treatments, to have these tests run on them too. And more importantly, I hope that you will request that your doctor run these tests immediately, instead of waiting until after you have spent thousands of dollars or experienced the heartache of miscarriage.

Here is the list of tests that my doctor ran on me:

Lupus Anticoagulant Evaluation

PTT LA Screen

Antiphospholipid  Antibody Syndrome

Factor V (Leiden) Mutation Analysis

Cardiolipin AB

Prothrombin Gene Analysis

Homocysteine

Cardiolipin AB

What a long and crazy list...isn't it??? I honestly can't pronounce half of these tests!!

Well our doctor discovered that I have two of these....Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome (APLS) and Homocysteine.

In a nut shell, APLS is a syndrome where my body thinks the baby is some form of a disease and my immune system goes into overdrive trying to get rid of the disease (the baby).  Homocysteine is a Folic Acid deficiency.

My doctor is sending me to a Hematologist to confirm these tests and to ensure that the preventative measures he plans to implement during our next cycle will not be harmful to me.

My appointment with the Hematologist is next Tuesday, so I will update you on the results and how we plan to move forward. In the meantime, please share these tests with  your fertility specialists and request that you get tested NOW.

After six years of trying to have a baby, knowing that we have some answers is the BEST feeling in the world!

Update...

It has been since BEFORE Christmas that I've posted on this blog. But I did want to give an update and let all my readers know where we are and what our next steps will be.

David and I went in last week for a follow up consult with our doctor. We were pleased to discover that he wanted to run more tests on us before we try again. I can't say enough good things about our doctor...not only does he have good bedside manner but he understands our pain, frustration, and hope...mainly because he and his wife have been in our shoes. So that always helps :)

Our doctor recommended that I have some blood drawn so he could run some tests. And he wasn't kidding about the number of tests he plans to run. I went to get my blood drawn and the nurse literally told me that I was having a half of a pint of blood drawn. My doctor ordered FOURTEEN tests to be run, so I had a lot of blood they needed to draw.

For the life of me, I can't find the list of tests that he is running, but when we go back to get the results, I will get the list and share with all of you. I just think it's important for anyone else going through this journey with us, to keep informed of all the tests out there that can be done. Some of the test are chromosomal tests and I know he is also going to check to see if I have a blood clotting disorder. But, like I said, I will share the list of tests once we have our next visit.

It is strange that I am HOPING we discover that I have one of these disorders...I guess to give me peace of mind that at least we know WHY we are finally able to get pregnant but unable to carry the baby to term.

Keep us in your prayers...we haven't given up, and we won't give up until we have our precious baby in our arms :)