Thursday, September 30, 2010

Stirring Up Your Dreams...

I read this devotional this morning and had to share it with all of you. It has reminded me that I need to stir up my dreams of becoming a mother...

“Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you...”~ Timothy 1:6

The Scripture tells us that without vision, people perish. If you don’t have a dream or vision for your life, you’re not really going to reach your fullest potential. Maybe at one time you had a dream, but you went through some disappointments or setbacks. Things didn’t turn out the way you planned. But here’s a key: when one dream dies, dream another dream. Just because it didn’t work out the way you had it planned doesn’t mean that God doesn’t have another plan. You cannot allow one disappointment or even a series of disappointments to convince you that your dream is over. It’s time to dig your heals in and hold on to the promises in your heart. Stir up those God-given dreams today and watch Him pour out His favor and blessing upon you and fulfill every desire in your heart!

My dream isn't over!!!! He WILL fulfill every  desire in my heart!!!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

His Light Shines On...

I took this pic when we went out on a boat ride last week. I think it speaks volumes...

Although my life might seem like it's crumbling before me, His light shines on!!!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

I've Failed...

After what seems like pregnancy test number 1,328,342....I've failed.

Still the answer is no.

Lord, please give me the strength to continue on. Give me the determination to look forward to next month. And please Lord, remind me that You never would have placed this desire in my heart if You weren't going to fulfill it..

Monday, September 20, 2010

Diet and Exercise...

This is one of those "being real" blog posts.
I am SO in need of a good diet and exercise plan. I weigh more today than I have EVER weighed and I am just plain miserable about it. None of my clothes fit and after looking at some pictures of me recently, I know I need to get on the ball and do something about it. I could use to lose about 10-15 pounds. It's not a lot, but seems to be the hardest to lose.
I was curious as to what diet and exercise plans you've tried that REALLY work. My doctor recommended that I not do a lot of strenuous exercising...he conducted a study that proved strenuous exercising was a factor in infertility in women. So I really want to try this out and see if we benefit from what he recommends.
But I would LOVE to hear your recommendations. The diet that really helped me the most was the South Beach I'm leaning towards getting back on that one. I've been doing a lot of fast walking and light weights, but I think my diet is the key to getting rid of these pounds.

I think that getting myself back in shape and just plain feeling good, will go a long way in our journey to becoming parents.
What diet and exercise plan have you been successful with?

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

His Tears...

I had an interesting conversation with a co-worker last week.

He shared with me that he and his wife had been trying to have a baby for the past three years. But what really moved me the most about our conversation was how emotional he became when sharing their story.

Although I know that infertility affects  a couple, it is so easy to forget that our husbands are hurting just as much as we are.

As a little girl, I grew up believing that my dad was the strongest man ever. I can still recall the first time I ever saw him was right after I received the news of being honored as the top officer on my dance team in high school. He was so overwhelmed with pride that he shed tears of joy because of his daughter's accomplishments.

About 14 years later, I met my husband. After learning about his childhood, how he lost his father in a helicopter accident at the age of only 1 year old and that he lost one of the most influential people in his life to cancer, his grandfather, I couldn't think of anything more heartbreaking. I truly believed nothing else in this world could ever cause him to cry after all his experiences. But on September 17, 2005 I saw him cry for the first time. He was shedding tears of joy because he was watching his wife walk down the aisle.

All these memories rushed through my mind as I sat with my co-worker and watched him shed tears of frustration and helplessness as he shared their story of infertility. It made me realize that I'm not the only one that is hurting here.

This conversation also made me hopeful...hopeful for the day that two of the most important men in my life shed tears of joy at the news that we will be parents.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

I'm Not Alone...

I have had so many sweet comments on this blog since we've started our journey to parenthood. Even though infertility can make you feel all alone, there are so many women (and men) experiencing this frustrating journey.

I thought I would spotlight some of the comments left on my blog and ask you to pray for those with the desire to be parents...

“I just turned 40 and I'm losing hope by the hour. I'm officially defective.”

“I keep clinging to the hope that we have all the necessary "parts" to have a baby and God can make anything happen. Let's hope He does!”

“If these attempts we have paid for do not work, we literally have no more money- for adoption for surrogacy for anything.”

“My husband and I went through infertility and we were never able to get any real answers.”

“Sometimes I just want to quit this journey, but it is impossible.”

“I know you probably thought that you would be holding a baby by now. I thought the same thing last year but ended up losing another baby.”

“We've been trying for a little over 2 years now for babies, and it just has not happened yet.”

“I don't go one day without thinking that I'm never going to have a child & Mother's Day is just especially painful.”

“It's hard to believe that another year has come and gone.”

Lord, I pray that you hear the cries of these women longing to be mothers. Please grant them the desires of their hearts, open their womb, and bless them with the miracle they have been waiting for.

Thursday, September 9, 2010


After four years of trying to have a baby, I have learned that some people just don't understand. I honestly don't think people "try" to be hurtful with the words they say, I just think they haven't experienced the pain, frustration, anxiety, and helplessness that comes along with infertility, so they don't realize how damaging their comments can be.

Nonetheless, it still hurts when you hear things like...

"So what are you guys waiting on??? You should get pregnant now."

"I will be MORE than happy to carry a baby for you. Just tell me when you're ready."

"I'll be so glad when you guys finally have kids. I can't wait for our kids to play together, go to school together, and grow up together."

I've gotten really good at biting my tongue when I hear things like the comments listed above...because again, I think these comments were said to try and help me, not hurt me. I am a fast learner, but learning how to not be so sensitive is taking me awhile :)

Until our prayers are answered, I'm going to continue believing that what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. Which definitely makes me ONE STRONG WOMAN!!!