Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Mother's Day...

Mother's Day is still very painful for me. With all the prayers, preparation, and thoughts of one day spending Mother's Day as a mother, the day still gives me anxiety!!


I made a promise to myself that until the day that I am a mother, I would spend the day with my own mother. Unfortunately, we can't afford to travel to Houston this year so we decided to spend the day with my mother-in-love to make sure she knew what a special mom she is to us.


I had a terrible experience about three years ago when I found myself at a Mother's Day celebration and I was the ONLY person there that was NOT a mother. And to be honest, I'm afraid that is going to happen again this weekend. Although I am not proud to admit this...we are not going to church that day either. I'm just being real here...but instead of celebrating the Lord, I know that all I would be doing at church on Mother's Day would be focusing on the fact that I'm still not a mother.


I would really covet your prayers this week and especially on Mother's Day. I know my very own special Mother's Day is coming soon...I just need prayers of peace to be patient and know that my Mother's Day will be better than I've ever imagined!!!

15 comments:

Amanda said...

Please know that I am praying for you. I think about you often during each and every day. Ok, that makes me sound like a stalker, but in my defense, I check the blogs I read every day. I pray for you and your husband, and I know that God has big plans for you. You have already touched so many lives by sharing your journey.

Stuart and Sarah Creamer said...

I know how anxious you are feeling. You can still celebrate the Lord while you are at home. There is nothing wrong with that. I didn't go to church last year myself. I was actually in Texas with Stuart- it was when we had our first visit at our new fertility clinic!

Praying for you Lianna. Your time is coming!!!

Kelli & Joel said...

I'm a lurker, but as I read this I wanted to tell you I feel the exact same way. Not only is Mother's Day Sunday, My Birthday is Saturday. We've been trying for a little over 2 years now for babies, and it just has not happened yet. So as another birthday and mother's day passes I'm extra sad, as I'll have to put on a happy face and be all alone and hurting on the inside, because my Husband is working in Texas and will not be able to come hom this weekend either. Sending many many prayers your way this weekend and ask you to Please say a prayer for me also.

Ann said...

Praying...

Traci said...

I know exactly how you feel. I don't go one day without thinking that I'm never going to have a child & Mother's Day is just especially painful. You're in my prayers.

Jess said...

I will definitely be praying for you this Mother's Day. I did not attend MD for 7 years during our infertility journey. Some thought that it was a decision made out of anger and bitterness when in reality it was just my way of coping. Also, I knew that I would cry the entire time and ruin it for those around me.

Praying for you!!!!

Sandra (Sarah Creamer's Mom) said...

Lianna,
I know how those "Mother's Day" Sundays can be...been there with Sarah and she did the same thing - just felt it would be better to stay home. Most churches celebrate and honor mothers, but don't have the insight or knowledge to think about those who are going through the "journey to motherhood". My son's church in TX, is very sensitive to that and has a special prayer offering over those who are "still waiting". What a great way to acknowledge those who are not mothers, but deeply want to be. Last year, Sarah and I mentioned the idea to our staff and our church now does the same thing. That doesn't make the day any easier, but it does offer the opportunity to be acknowledged, encouraged and prayed for.

From a different perspective, Mother's Day is a bittersweet day for those of us who have lost our mothers. I will never forget Mother's Day in 2008. I sat at the piano...my mother sitting in the back wearing her little white mask, while I played her favorite song, "Id Rather Have Jesus" for the offertory...knowing it would be her last Mother's Day on earth, my last chance to honor her face to face on that day. She had terminal cancer, so making it through that day was pretty hard. I suppose Mother's Day will always be bittersweet now, but with each passing year, I will be able to focus more on the sweet memories instead of the bitter void. Mother died June 21 following that Mother's Day, so I'm not quite there yet.

You know, there are seasons when Mother's Day is a happy, glorious day, but when we are in those seasons, we so often forget about the ones who are hurting instead of celebrating.

I'm not trying to make Mother's Day all about doom and gloom, but I know until I experienced some of heartache through Sarah and for myself, I never really thought about it being a hard day for so many.

I will be thinking of you and praying for peace and joy to cover you this Sunday - and you are absolutely right about one thing - YOUR time WILL come and God will bless you more than you ever dreamed!! Exodus 14:14

(((Hugs)))

sarah @ life {sweet} life said...

I know it is a very hard time, and I'll be praying for you! I am believing this will be the last mother's day that you deal with this. Praying for you friend!! :)

Lori said...

I totally understand where you are coming from. I am kind of nervous as Mother's Day approaches, no matter how I try to keep my "thoughts" away. I cannot! Then I start to feel real sad, and it just ruins the whole day!! You will be in my prayers sweet friend, and I hope that you will get you little blessing so soon!!

Faith said...

It's hard to believe that another year has come and gone....

Praying for you too. Hugs, Faith

Heather Allen said...

Praying for peace...this is such a hard time of year. I started Plan B by Pete Wilson today in hopes to deflect some of the pain. Blessing are coming your way!

Jennifer said...

I am already having a horrible week because sunday is approaching. every year I plan on skipping church, but haven't recently and have been glad because our churches don't focus too much on mother stuff. they're probably oblivious (ha!) but I think it's because they are being sensitive. that's a human-centered event anyway... we go to church to worship God, not people. I'm so glad my husband will one day have his own church and we will never have events that are insensitive to certain groups of people.

church should never be a place that people avoid for fear of being hurt or upset. ugh, I'm sorry to rant. this is just a major issue with me.

i pray for peace for you this sunday. (and every day!) do something enjoyable, and hopefully we can focus on our wonderful mothers and put aside the pain of not being mothers ourselves yet.

Jennifer said...

Praying for Sunday and for the next year! I just know that you will be a mother one day soon!

Fabiola said...

I'e been praying for you every day.
I am on the same club and I won't be going to church this year either. It will be too hard.

Anonymous said...

Just want to say what a great blog you got here!
I've been around for quite a lot of time, but finally decided to show my appreciation of your work!

Thumbs up, and keep it going!

Cheers
Christian, iwspo.net