Friday, November 20, 2009

Moving Mountains...

I would say that I am an "outdoor" kind of girl. I enjoy swimming, going to the beach, camping, and working in my yard. But I don't really like hiking. Well, to be honest, I've never tried it. But from what I've seen of hiking...walking on unstable grounds, carrying a huge backpack on your back, and treking uphill...just doesn't seem appealing to me.

But, as I reflect on our journey to become parents, hiking is very similar to infertility.

Throughout this journey of infertility we have been walking on unstable grounds...every two weeks, we monitor my ovulation, we wait for two more weeks, we get our hopes up that we could be pregnant, just to discover that once again, we are not. Then the unstability starts all over again like a vicious cycle.

We carry this huge backpack on our's called infertility. We feel as if every single thing we do revolves around having children. What will next month hold for us? How will we pay for this treatment? Will a birthmother choose us? When will it be our turn?

We are treking uphill...over this mountain we call infertility. It is a long, hard path that seems to take forever. We are exhausted and the end seems no where in sight.

But, we have one constant throughout this journey...God. He CAN move mountains. He can move OUR mountain.

So although I may not LIKE hiking...I am a hiker. I am choosing to hike this mountain called infertility and trusting in Him to make my ground stable, to carry that weight on my back, and push me over that mountain.

"I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."~Matthew 17:20


Alyson said...

I love this analogy, Lianna. We are all hiking alongside each other on this journey we never wanted, but thank God that He can move all of our mountains! Praying for you!

Stacy said...

I found your blog from another blog... and I really enjoy reading it, I am praying for you guys, you will be such great parents!

Ellie said...

You hit the nail on the head, Lianna! We're hiking too. In fact, never hiked so much in all our lives. And we're weary. But the Lord is so much bigger than all of us, and we're trusting Him. Praying for you and your husband while you navigate the trails! BTW, just found out from a neighbor that our dear friends whom we've not seen in months (they live behind us and down a few houses) actually have a reason for avoiding us ... they're 5 1/2 months pregnant! We both lost our first pregnancies last year around the same time and grew very close. Never in a million years thought they would go so far out of their way to avoid sharing such joy with us. It's heartbreaking. So glad I have other true all-weather friends who walk alongside us in joy and pain. Just had to get that off my chest.

Happy Weekend!

sarah @ life {sweet} life said...

I love this post - so true and such an accurate description! It also makes me think of one of my favorite quotes: "Stop telling God how big your mountains are and start telling your mountains how big your God is!" Hang in there...your faith honors him through it all! :)

Life Happens said...

What a great post. I'm am NOT a hiker either, but I have been hiking the same mountain and carrying the same backpack. At times when we feel like we are nearing the top of the mountain, that backpack drags us all the way back down! We then pick ourselves up and contine to put our faith in the Lord that He will help us along.

I pray that your load may be lighten and your faith continue to grow stronger.

Cathy said...

Stay true to your dreams...they will come to pass. Just keep focused on why you want this and don't let it so totally consume you that you lose sight of what's important. I know how important this is to you and the toll it is taking. Don't let the toll overtake the goal! Love you!

Lori said...

Thank You for encouraging me along with your post. I pray that you are VERY close to the top of your mountain, VERY close to your miracle!