Security...

I woke up this morning already in a bad place...frustrated with my job, irritated with my husband, and upset that we still aren't parents. Just being HONEST!

I didn't know what else to do, but pull out my Bible and pray for peace and guidance.

I randomly opened my Bible and landed smack dab in the middle of Esther. Oh, how I love her.

At the beginning of each chapter, my Bible gives a brief outline and background of each key person. I came across this paragraph in Esther's description...

"How much of your secuirty lies in your possessions, position, or reputation? God has not placed you in your present position for your own benefit. He put you there to serve Him. As in Esther's case, this may involve risking your security. Are you willing to let God be your ultimate security?"

I have to admit that I have not turned my security over to Him. I keep asking myself these same three questions over and over: What did I do wrong to not get that promotion? What's wrong with my body and why can't I get pregnant? How can we afford adoption or our next fertility treatment?

God has not placed me in my present position for my own benefit. He put me here to serve Him.

It is not up to ME!

I feel as if the devil is doing everything he possibly can to bring me down...with my job, with my marriage, with my dreams...but he will NOT succeed.

My security lies with God.

I AM willing to let God be my ultimate security.

To Lianna, From Jesus

A dear sweet friend of mine sent this precious frame to me...

I can't tell you what peace it gives me...

He does have everything under control...

I Can't...

I can't stop the desire to be a mommy.

I can't imagine my life without burpcloths, bibs, and pacifiers.

I can't get the thought of little toy trucks or pastel pink bows out of my head.

I can't think of anything I'd rather do than watch T-ball games and ballet recitals.

I can't wait to whisper the words "Mommy and Daddy love you so much."

I can't...

He can...

He WILL!

"And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."~ Phillipians 4:19

Perfect Plan...

Please keep us in your prayers as we make a move on the baby front. We've been laying low, praying about our next steps, and doing our best to listen to what He wants us to do.

Please pray specifically that God leads us to the perfect plan for our baby.

I am believing that our journey to parenthood will soon be revealed!!!

Mother's Day Recap...

Although I was really dreading Mother's Day this year, it turned out to be a pretty good day. I woke up extra early to pray about the day and to remind my heart that Mother's Day will SOON be a holiday that I look forward to :)

The morning started off with the SWEETEST card from my husband. It was just a nice reminder that ONE day we will be celebrating our own Mother's Day.

Then we spent a good part of the day celebrating my Mother-in-Love...

We hung out by the pool, watched TPC, and ate hamburgers and hotdogs.

My Mother-in-Love gave me the sweetest card too and these pretty flowers. They are called Star of Bethlehem...aren't they gorgeous???

We also hung out with my favorite little guy, my nephew, Mikey.

Uncle D had a good time playing with Mikey in the pool.


Although I missed my mom like CRAZY and wished I had traveled to Texas to see her, I had a good day celebrating my other mom.

I hope you had a blessed Mother's Day and those of you waiting for a blessing, like we are, I hope you had an overwhelming peace that one day you WILL be celebrating your own Mother's Day soon!

Mother's Day...

Mother's Day is still very painful for me. With all the prayers, preparation, and thoughts of one day spending Mother's Day as a mother, the day still gives me anxiety!!

I made a promise to myself that until the day that I am a mother, I would spend the day with my own mother. Unfortunately, we can't afford to travel to Houston this year so we decided to spend the day with my mother-in-love to make sure she knew what a special mom she is to us.

I had a terrible experience about three years ago when I found myself at a Mother's Day celebration and I was the ONLY person there that was NOT a mother. And to be honest, I'm afraid that is going to happen again this weekend. Although I am not proud to admit this...we are not going to church that day either. I'm just being real here...but instead of celebrating the Lord, I know that all I would be doing at church on Mother's Day would be focusing on the fact that I'm still not a mother.

I would really covet your prayers this week and especially on Mother's Day. I know my very own special Mother's Day is coming soon...I just need prayers of peace to be patient and know that my Mother's Day will be better than I've ever imagined!!!