Sunday, October 31, 2010

Low of Lows...

I have found myself in the low of all lows today...

I had always hoped to have a baby during the month of July. Both my husband and I have July birthdays and I thought it would be so neat for our child to be born that month too.

Well, my dream will not be coming true this next year. And it is so hard to accept...very hard.

All I feel like doing today is crawling back in bed and just staying there for as long as I can.

Even on today, one of my favorite holidays, it seems unbearable. I have a huge bowl of candy just ready to brighten the faces of the little trick-or-treaters coming to my door. But I honestly don't know if I can deal with seeing all those adorable kids dressed up tonight.

"For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning."~Psalm 30:5

13 comments:

Laura Ann said...

Praying for you today as I do everyday. Hoping that God will bring some peace to you today and touch your heart in a special way.

I know you love Halloween, so I hope that you will feel better through out the day and open up the door tonight and be blessed by those innocent little goblins that come to your door for a special little treat and if not, EAT ALL THE CANDY and it will make you feel better for sure.

Loving you across the miles!

Ashley said...

I remember when we first started trying to get pregnant- I would figure out which month the baby would be born and think of all the reasons it would be neat to have then. My birthday is also in July. I'm sorry for your disappointment.

Lori said...

You are in my prayers today.

belle said...

(((((hugs)))))

praying with you ..... He hears, my friend, He hears.

Mrs. Haid said...

I am so sorry for this loss. It is a loss of a goal and a dream, and its right for you to grieve it.

You know, you are right with July being the perfect time for a baby. My son was born July 27 and it was totally ideal. Keep your dream alive... it might not happen this time, but nothing is impossible.

I really have enjoyed your posts this month. I don't know if you realize that you are inspiring... you have helped me through some dark times, even as I am currently pregnant and have been fighting the fear of losing this baby, too. Thank you four your honestly and scriptures.

Heather said...

I so understand my dear sweet friend. I have been the same myself. BUt have faith- hold onto it tight- that the Lord has a very special plan for the both of us- and even if teh baby os not borm=n in July- that sweet miracle will be the most precious gift you ever receive!!!

Love you and praying for you!
Heather

Lauren said...

Oh, Lianna!!!!! I pray for that day to come SOON and in God's perfect timing!!! Love you!

rae said...

I'm so sorry. I wish I had some wonderful words of wisdom, but I don't. Some days there is just nothing any one can say to help....some days this just really stinks! Just know that I am praying for you.

Jennifer said...

Clay and I send you and David lots of hugs and prayers! Praying a special prayer for y'all today!!!

Mrs Anne said...

i know i've been MIA from blogland, but that doesn't stop me from praying for you guys...

my ♥ goes out to you...

xo

Trying and trying said...

My husband I are currently trying to have a child. We have been for a few years now. I completely understand your feelings. One thing that keeps us going is our faith. It is the most important thing.

Anonymous said...

Hi, I stumbled upon your blog. I'm so sorry about your infertility issues. I just wanted to say that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I suffered through infertility as well and the best thing God EVER did was point us in the direction of adoption. If you want to be a mom then I know you've probably thought about adoption. Not just Embryo adoption, but adopting a baby who is already alive and waiting on a mom. Especially those in a country where people are NOT climbing over each other to adopt them. We have friends who just decided to adopt and had a picture of their sweet baby boy in Uganda within 2 weeks of the decision. They are thrilled and will have him home before Christmas. I thought of them when I read your post because his birthday is in JULY. You could have your JULY baby after all. I wish you luck with your journey.

Sandra (Sarah Creamer's Mom) said...

Hey Sweet Friend,
You are always on my heart and continue to be in my prayers! Whenever God chooses to deliver your miracle, it will be the most amazingly PERFECT time! Keep trusting in Him!

(((HUGS)))