Low of Lows...

I have found myself in the low of all lows today...

I had always hoped to have a baby during the month of July. Both my husband and I have July birthdays and I thought it would be so neat for our child to be born that month too.

Well, my dream will not be coming true this next year. And it is so hard to accept...very hard.

All I feel like doing today is crawling back in bed and just staying there for as long as I can.

Even on today, one of my favorite holidays, it seems unbearable. I have a huge bowl of candy just ready to brighten the faces of the little trick-or-treaters coming to my door. But I honestly don't know if I can deal with seeing all those adorable kids dressed up tonight.

"For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning."~Psalm 30:5

It's Your Time...

I woke up this morning to the sweetest email from my best friend.

She sent me the lyrics to this song that made her think of me every time she heard it. Here are the lyrics:

You've been faithful, you've been true

And you've done all that you can do

And for your faithfulness, it's your time

You applauded for the rest

Now it's your time to be blessed

And for your faithfulness, it's your time

You've waited for so long

But you held on, and you were strong

And for your faithfulness, it's your time

You encouraged everyone else

When you needed it for yourself

And for your faithfulness, it's your time

You encouraged everyone else

When you needed it for yourself

And for your faithfulness, it's your time

This song is dedicated to all of you who have been working in the vineyard for the Lord for what seems like a lifetime. You have dreamed and you've worked towards things that you've wanted to accomplish for yourself. But somehow your biggest goals always seem to be just out of your reach. But the Lord told me to tell you He knows who you are. Yes, He's seen your work and He's also seen your tears. And He wants you to know that you are not forgotten. He's here to reward you for all your faithfulness. For He said in His word if you will delight yourself in Him, He will give you the desires of your heart. In other words, not only will He give you what you need, but He promised to give you whatever you want. So don't get discouraged. So don't give up. Hang in there and prepare yourself for your blessing. It's your time now.

You have waited for so long.

But you held on, you were strong

And for your faithfulness

Because you hung in there when times got hard

And when it seemed like nobody cared

You kept right on working

You kept right on doing good things

And for your faithfulness

And for your faithfulness, it's your time

He told me to tell you, it's your time!

What an AWESOME way to start my day :)

Prayers for a Friend...

Will you take a minute today and pray for my friend, Tiffany. She is my friend and co-worker and found out on Friday that her cancer has spread to her abdomen.

She has been dealing with cancer for years now and after surgery this August, thought this would be her last battle. Unfortunately, the cancer has spread and is growing.

Tiffany started radiation yesterday and will continue with radiation every day until December 3. Then she will start chemo.

She is SUCH a strong woman, mother, wife, and friend.

Please pray that the Lord will heal her body, strengthen her mind, and lift her spirits.

Taking the Plunge...

I am seriously at my highest weight ever :( And I'm not too happy about it.

With all the fertility treatments and emotional eating that goes along with trying to get pregnant, I have to admit that I have really let my body go.

My clothes do not fit like they used to and I am just not happy with how I look or feel.

So today I am taking the plunge and getting my body (and my mind) back on track.

I am going to the grocery store today and stocking up on all the healthiest foods AND I will start running again today.

I'm looking forward to getting my old body back!!!

Try Again...

I finally got caught up on Giuliana & Bill today. I honestly cried throughout the entire episode...it brought back so many memories of when we tried IVF.

When I heard that Giuliana had 8 eggs retrieved, it was as if I was RIGHT there...that was the same amount of eggs we had too.

I am SO ready to try IVF again!!!

Hallelujah...

I heard Heather Williams' story on the radio yesterday and the reasons why she wrote the song Hallelujah. It is such a powerful story and a beautiful song, I just had to share...

I'm crying out HALLELUJAH too!

Believing...

I have always had a vivid imagination.

As I child, I even had a make-believe friend...his name was Jeffery. I don't remember much about this make-believe friend, but my parents had a personalized book created for me and had Jeffery listed as one of my friends in the book.

As a teenager, I imagined how cool it would be when I got my first car. I can still remember the day I got home, opened the garage, and saw my very first car just waiting for me to get behind the wheel.

As a young adult, I dreamed of a fairy tale wedding. I envisioned the dress, the flowers, the cake, my groom...every thing would be picture perfect. To this day, my wedding day was one of the BEST days of my life.

Now that I am older, I imagine my life as a  mother. What seems different about this dream is that I have a hard time really seeing a picture of what our lives will be like with a baby...how it will feel,  what our baby will look like, the smell of our baby's skin, the feel of his/her little feet.

Sometimes it scares me that I can't see this image...

But in my heart I know that "we live by faith, not by sight."~2 Corinthians 5:7  And that is what keeps me believing...