And the Results are In...

I went to my appointment today with the hematologist and I walked out of his office in a state of shock. I am so confused by the results he gave us today. David and I plan to talk today and take a few days to think about how we want to proceed. We both have mixed and confused emotions.

Here are the results...

I originally was diagnosed as having a Folic Acid deficiency. So I started taking a Folic Acid supplement on top of the prenatal vitamins. When the hematologist checked for this in my bloodwork, he didn't see the deficiency. This could be a result of me already taking the Folic Acid supplement. This is good news, well at least I think it is.

Our fertility doctor also diagnosed me as having APLS. You can read about this on my post HERE if you missed it. Although I wasn't thrilled that I was diagnosed with APLS, I felt it was a good thing to at least have an answer. Well the hematologist shared that I in fact do NOT have APLS. He said that my blood levels did not show this and that he doesn't think that I have it. When I was originally diagnosed, the doctor shared with me that the threshold for APLS ranged from a level 16-40 and mine was 19...barely over the minimium. This time when the hematologist tested my blood, I was not over 16. This is NOT good news. Well...I guess it is good that I don't have APLS, but that still leaves us with not knowing what is causing the pregnancy loss.

My hematologist did recommend that I take Heparin shots and baby aspirin a week before transfer, if we decided to do IVF again. And to continue with the Heparin throughout the pregnancy.

So long story short...the results are in, but we aren't quite sure what to do with the results yet.

Please pray for us!!!

Hematologist Appointment...

The devil is working his nasty little tail off to try and bring me down. But it's not going to happen...no matter how hard he tries. Let me explain...

About three weeks ago, I scheduled my appointment to see the hematologist immediately after speaking with our fertility doctor. The day before my appointment, I received a phone call from the nurse, confirming my appointment and the location. This particular hematologist has two offices/locations. I wasn't familiar with one of the locations, so as I was traveling to my appointment the next day, I called the office to make sure I was traveling in the right direction. The receptionist seemed puzzled as we were talking and shared that my appointment was actually at the other location. I told her to please call that location to let them know that I was going to be a little late because the reception that called to confirm my appointment had actually told me the WRONG location. We hung up and proceeded to travel to my appointment. Not five seconds later, I received a phone call from the same nurse letting me know that the hematologist had already left for the day!! I was BEYOND mad at this point. The nurse asked me to give her a call once I got out of my car so we could set up another appointment. She could tell that I was frustrated because of this inconvenience.

I got home and called the doctor's office to set up another appointment. The Lord knew I was at my breaking point and he sent the sweetest lady to help me reschedule my appointment. She was kind, apologetic for the mix up, and literally calmed me down within a few minutes of being on the phone. We rescheduled my appointment for the following week.

The devil doesn't give up that easily though. The day before my rescheduled appointment, the receptionist called to confirm my appointment and the location again. I specifically asked her again if she could confirm the location because of the mix up I had the previous week. She seemed irritated at the mention of that situation and was not very friendly when I called the NEXT day to confirm again before I left work for the appointment.

I get to my appointment on time and the doctor doesn't see me until an hour later...can you say FRUSTRATION?!?!? During my meeting with the hematologist, I found out that he is partners with the doctor I see for my Remicade (my colitis medication). I WISH I would have known this because I am already familiar with my Remicade doctor and his office is less than five minutes from my work!! In any event, the hematologist wanted to run all the same tests over again to confirm what our fertility doctor had recommended. This meant that I had to go the very next day to have another pint of blood withdrawn and then wait ANOTHER TWO WEEKS for the results.

I have definitely learned the meaning of patience...I honestly feel like the most patient person in the entire world!!

I scheduled an appointment for this past Friday to meet with the hematologist and get my results. It also just so happened that I was scheduled to have Remicade that same day too. My hematologist appointment was scheduled for 9:00 a.m. and my Remicade for 2:00 p.m. I'm sure you know what happened...I received a call the day before my appointments to let me know that I had to reschedule one of the appointments because my file could not be in both places on the same day. WHAT?!?!?!? Needless to say, I kept my Remicade appointment and rescheduled my hematologist appointment for tomorrow, Monday, at 2:10 p.m.

This seems like some sick joke, doesn't it????

Please pray that we get some answers tomorrow AND that my appointment is not rescheduled for any reason. We are so ready to confirm what our fertility doctor suspects and be able to move forward in this journey.

By the way, I've decided to change my name to Job...I'm sure this is exactly what he felt like!!!!

Answers...

We had our follow up appointment with our fertility doctor yesterday to review the results from all the bloodwork I had taken a few weeks ago. We thought it was a good visit because we finally got some ANSWERS!

I promised myself that I would share all the tests that our doctor ran on me, mainly because I want anyone and everyone that is going through fertility treatments, to have these tests run on them too. And more importantly, I hope that you will request that your doctor run these tests immediately, instead of waiting until after you have spent thousands of dollars or experienced the heartache of miscarriage.

Here is the list of tests that my doctor ran on me:

Lupus Anticoagulant Evaluation

PTT LA Screen

Antiphospholipid  Antibody Syndrome

Factor V (Leiden) Mutation Analysis

Cardiolipin AB

Prothrombin Gene Analysis

Homocysteine

Cardiolipin AB

What a long and crazy list...isn't it??? I honestly can't pronounce half of these tests!!

Well our doctor discovered that I have two of these....Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome (APLS) and Homocysteine.

In a nut shell, APLS is a syndrome where my body thinks the baby is some form of a disease and my immune system goes into overdrive trying to get rid of the disease (the baby).  Homocysteine is a Folic Acid deficiency.

My doctor is sending me to a Hematologist to confirm these tests and to ensure that the preventative measures he plans to implement during our next cycle will not be harmful to me.

My appointment with the Hematologist is next Tuesday, so I will update you on the results and how we plan to move forward. In the meantime, please share these tests with  your fertility specialists and request that you get tested NOW.

After six years of trying to have a baby, knowing that we have some answers is the BEST feeling in the world!

Update...

It has been since BEFORE Christmas that I've posted on this blog. But I did want to give an update and let all my readers know where we are and what our next steps will be.

David and I went in last week for a follow up consult with our doctor. We were pleased to discover that he wanted to run more tests on us before we try again. I can't say enough good things about our doctor...not only does he have good bedside manner but he understands our pain, frustration, and hope...mainly because he and his wife have been in our shoes. So that always helps :)

Our doctor recommended that I have some blood drawn so he could run some tests. And he wasn't kidding about the number of tests he plans to run. I went to get my blood drawn and the nurse literally told me that I was having a half of a pint of blood drawn. My doctor ordered FOURTEEN tests to be run, so I had a lot of blood they needed to draw.

For the life of me, I can't find the list of tests that he is running, but when we go back to get the results, I will get the list and share with all of you. I just think it's important for anyone else going through this journey with us, to keep informed of all the tests out there that can be done. Some of the test are chromosomal tests and I know he is also going to check to see if I have a blood clotting disorder. But, like I said, I will share the list of tests once we have our next visit.

It is strange that I am HOPING we discover that I have one of these disorders...I guess to give me peace of mind that at least we know WHY we are finally able to get pregnant but unable to carry the baby to term.

Keep us in your prayers...we haven't given up, and we won't give up until we have our precious baby in our arms :)

Heavenly Prize...

The day after we received the news that our pregnancy would not be moving foward, I received this devotional/verse:

"No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking foward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God is calling us." Phillipians 3:13-14

My heart may be broken right now because my plan didn't come to fruition...but I must realize that it isn't MY plan. I have grown stronger, more sensitive to others, grateful for my blessings, and thankful for my family and friends because of this journey.

We will receive our heavenly prize...it's only a matter of time!

Almost a Christmas Miracle....

David and I had our frozen embryo transfer right after the Thanksgiving holiday. We were able to freeze two blastocysts from our previous cycle and since we had a positive pregnancy test during that cycle, we were hopeful that this time we would get our miracle...a Christmas Miracle.

The day of my pregnancy test, we decided to take a home pregnancy test. Actually we took one the night before (we have NO patience), but unfortunately, the test came back negative. We were devastated and really just couldn't believe we were getting a "no" again.

Although I didn't really want to, I went in and had my blood drawn anyway. I went to work and did everything and anything I could to pass the time. I left work early that day because I just couldn't take the phone call from the nurse telling me that we were not pregnant at school.

At around 2:30, the nurse called to let me know that my blood results came in and I tested POSITIVE for pregnancy. I couldn't believe my ears...we had received our Christmas Miracle after all!!

We discovered that my BETA levels were extremely low, which is why the home pregnancy test wasn't positive. The nurse stated that if my hormone levels continued to increase, we would chalk it up to late implantation. David and I bought a TON of pregnancy tests and even tested that same evening. We received a faint positive...put positive nonetheless.

We continued to test for the next four days...each day, the test was positive and each day the pregnancy line became darker and darker. Our prayers had finally been answered!

I went in four days later to have my blood drawn again. We were hoping that my BETA would be at least 100. We were blessed beyone measure when the nurse called with a 125 BETA. Praise the Lord!! All seemed well with the world...our hopes to celebrate Christmas this year with our own miracle baby was coming true.

After a little Christmas shopping this past Friday evening, I came home and realized that I was spotting. My nurse had already warned me that many women spot during pregnancy and some even bleed throughout their first trimester. I was scared, but hopeful that this was normal. I woke up on Saturday morning to more spotting. I ran a few errands, got my hair cut, and then came home. I immediately went to the restroom and discovered that my spotting had turned into bleeding. David called the on-call nurse and explained our situation. We were reassured that this could still me normal, but we would go in on Monday for another blood test. If my BETA numbers had continued to increase, we would have an ultrasound to confirm that everything was going as planned.

I went in yesterday for my blood test...it was the LONGEST day EVER!!! I finally received a call from the nurse that evening letting me know that although my BETA had increased, it was no where near what it should be for a week's time to have passed. My BETA should have been over a 1000 and was only 328. My heart was broken and our Christmas Miracle turned into an "almost" Christmas Miracle.

I woke up this morning with more bleeding and more cramping. I put in a call to my doctor's office to keep them informed. They are wanting to see me to rule out a tubal pregnancy.

Why? Why is this happening?

I am an emotional rollercoaster...dipping and diving, turning upside down, and I feel as if as soon as I get as high as I can, I come crashing down.

"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.'" Psalm 91:1-2

Verses for the Holidays...

As we approach the Christmas Holiday, I find that I am leaning more and more on these verses...

"Let us hope unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23

"The Lord's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save, nor His ear heavy, that it cannot hear." Isaiah 59:1

"I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continuously be in my mouth." Psalm 34

These are what I call my go-to verses. I have committed them to memory and call on them quite often. Of course as Christmas gets closer and closer, this wait seems harder and harder. 

I have seen God peform miracles lately...things that I never imagined in my wildest dreams could happen. I am continuing to pray that He hears my cries and will answer them sooner than later. 

This morning, as I was praying, I received this verse... 

"Don't be afraid! I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all the people." Luke 2:10

Regardless of my situation, I know that He is the reason for the season, and He will bring great joy to all His people.

Praying for SO many of you still waiting to be blessed with child.