Faith and Patience...

"...imitate those who through faith and patience inherit the promises" ~Hebrews 6:12

As most of you know, I get a daily devotional from Lakewood Church every day. Last week, I received this verse. As I read the description and the story behind this verse, I could see myself in the EXACT same situation as David. Read this excerpt from the church:

Did you know that in the Bible, David was 17 years old when he was anointed to be king, but yet he did not take the throne until he was 30? I’m sure during those 13 years there were plenty of times that David was tempted to think it wasn’t going to happen. I’m sure he was tempted to get frustrated or even feel like a failure, thinking “God, did I hear You? I thought You said You were going to do something great with my life, but nothing is going my way.” Here he was being faithful, but all those years he saw no sign of the promise coming to pass.

I’m sure David had to fight the same negative thoughts that we do; thoughts that were telling him “It’s not going to happen. David, you didn’t hear from God. Just accept it.” The battle was taking place in his mind just like our battles take place in our minds. During those times when it seems like you aren’t getting any closer to seeing your dream come to pass, remember, the scripture tells us that through faith and patience we inherit the promises of God.

So I stand in faith...being patient for His annointed time. He gave us the desire to be parents and we will wait for His promise to come to pass.

So many of you are in this same place in your life as we are...waiting and praying for a baby. Please stop and take a moment to say this prayer with us...

Father, we humbly come to You, believing that You are working behind the scenes on our behalf. We trust that Your Word is true and we believe that through faith and patience, we will see Your promises come to pass in our lives. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Over the MOON!!!

My DH had a follow up appointment with his doctor last week to get an update on how successful his embolization surgery was. We were so THRILLED to hear that all of his counts went UP!!! Motility (25% to 40%), morphology (0% to 2%), and total count (5 million to 18 million) have increased and we are just OVER THE MOON!!!

Our fertility specialist recommended that we continue TTC on our own for a few more months before trying IUI and/or IVF again.

Please keep us in your prayers and specifically pray that we will be able to concieve naturally. what a blessing that would be!!

Caring Thoughts and Quiet Prayers...

I started today with the heartbreaking reality that I am NOT pregnant. So what a great surprise to find this in the mail....

I received this card from a prayer group in Texas. I can't even begin to tell you how much this brightened my day.

"For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst."~Matthew 18:20

Please continue to keep us in your prayers.

AND...the DH has a follow-up appointment with his doctor tomorrow to find out how successful his surgery was. So say ANOTHER prayer with us that we hear positive news.

Perfect MATCH...

I know that I usually write about our successess and struggles with trying to concieve on this blog, but I had an overwhelming desire to write about something a little different today.

Last night, we had dinner with my husband's uncle and his girlfriend then headed back to their house to relax in the hot tub. A family friend came over to visit and hang out with us too and our conversation led to church and dating. This family friend attends the same church that my DH and I attend and we began discussing the different ministries our church offers. We were recommending that she join the ministry for her age group in the hopes of finding a boyfriend/husband. Out of no where she becomes extremely upset, begins to cry, and says "I have joined this ministry and I feel like I am NEVER going to find someone. I might as well face it that I am going to be single FOREVER!" My heart just broke in TWO :( She was not upset at us, just upset at her situation and was expressing her frustration in trying to find the perfect MATCH.

I immediately felt as if I have been taking for granted how lucky and blessed I am to have found my perfect MATCH. On the way home I started to reflect on how my DH and I met and the struggles I was dealing with at that time.

It was 2003 and I had recently been dumped after a 5 year relationship. Needless to say, I was absolutely devastated! I kept thinking over and over again how successful I was and how I just couldn't believe this had happened to me...I had a Bachelor's Degree, I was working on my Master's Degree, I had a great job teaching middle school math and dance, I was the co-owner of a local dance studio, BUT I was 29 years old and SINGLE!!! I honestly felt as if my life was going no where and just couldn't figure out how I had gone wrong in the MARRIAGE department. I had (have) a great group of friends that I hung out with, but didn't have a clue how I was going to meet someone new. My best friend recommended that I join Match.com to just see how it worked.

I set up my profile and started to meet a few people. I did go out on several dates, but like I had expected, people were dishonest...they didn't look like the pictures they had posted on their profile, they were younger (or older) than what they said they were, or they just weren't my type. I had decided to go ahead and let me subscription expire when another prospect began talking to me. We talked on the computer for weeks, talked on the phone for hours, but I just wasn't ready to go out on a date yet...I had been burned so many times and I just couldn't let myself be disappointed again. On the night before my 30th birthday (which I was NOT looking forward to) we had been talking on the phone and finally hung up close to 11:30 or 11:45 p.m. I had finally fallen asleep when my phone rang at midnight. I picked it up wondering who in the world would be calling me so late...to my surprise, it was the prospect calling! He wanted to be the FIRST person to wish me happy birthday on my 30th birthday. Can you say..."he had me at Happy Birthday!"

So yes, my DH and I met through Match. com!! We dated for two years, got engaged in 2005, and then married 6 months later. When you know...you just know.

I remember all the nights I spent praying and praying that God would send me the perfect MATCH. And I truly believe that all those prayers are what kept me going. Here are just a few of the verses that I have highlighted in my Bible from that time of my life:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do , and He will direct your path. " Proverbs 3:5-6

"I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and He turned to me and heard my cry." Psalm 40:1

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do." Proverbs 4:23

Please say these prayers for my friend who is going through a difficult time. If you have time, please also visit the blog Kelly started called Dwelling in the Land. It is a prayer blog for women looking for their perfect MATCH (as well as those of us trying to concieve). And remember, "Take delight in the Lord and He will give you your heart's desires." Psalm 37:4.

Fabulously FULL Friday!!! UPDated!!!

Updated: Another version of this verse says...."Love the Lord, all you faithful ones! For the Lord protects those who are loyal to Him, but He harshly punishes all who are arrogant."

I am PROUD to say that I am one of the FAITHFUL ones.

I hope no one took my interperation as if I felt superior than anyone else...especially the Lord our God. I am not arrogant at all...I bow down to the Lord because He loves me, He forgives me, and He protects me. I am PROUD for so many things...not to be arrogant, but to be THANKFUL!

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.~Matthew 22:37-40

"Love the LORD, all his saints! The LORD preserves the faithful, but the proud He pays back in full."~Psalm 31:23

I am SO proud of many things this Friday. Here is a list of just a few of them:

1. My husband...he has been working so hard lately---with his job and with his excercise routine.
   
   
2. My parents---they are so thoughtful, trusting, and always make me smile. I REALLY am lucky!
   
   
   
3. My friends---always give me encouraging words and never let me down.
   
   
   
4. A fun filled weekend---I'm starting off the weekend watching my nephew for a few hours, then headed to the Suns' Baseball Game, breakfast on Saturday with Amy, Stamping with Melanie, going to concert Saturday night with MORE friends, and then praising the Lord on Sunday!
   
   
   
5. My job---although it has been a BUSY week, I am so proud to actually HAVE a job.

6. A new giveaway---I have started a new giveaway on my other blog. So go check it out!

What are you proud of on this Fabulously FULL Friday?

BIGGER and BETTER...

I receive a daily devotional from Lakewood Church and just had to share today's Word:

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God."~Psalm 42:5-6

The message goes on to say...


When times get tough, don´t be surprised if you feel a heaviness trying to overwhelm you. Don´t be surprised if you hear negative thoughts telling you, "It´s never going to work out. Things are never going to get better. It´s over. It´s done." When those thoughts come, remember, you have a choice–you don´t have to believe those lies. You don´t have to get on board with your emotions.
In the Bible, David encountered many difficult situations. That spirit of heaviness tried to steal his destiny. He got depressed and discouraged, but do you know what he did? He started talking to himself. He said, "Why are you cast down, oh my soul? Put your hope in the Lord." He was saying, "David, snap out of it! Why are you discouraged? Why have you lost your joy? God is still on the throne, and He still has good things in store." When that heaviness tries to come on you, do what David did. As you put your trust in the Lord and praise Him, He´ll give you His strength and empower you to overcome every obstacle you may face!

I am continuing to hold my head up high and thanking Him NOW for this journey. I hope all of you will do the same and know that He has BIGGER and BETTER things instore of us!

Thanks...

I just wanted to thank each and everyone of you for the comments that you left for me yesterday. I have found this blog to be more than just a place to journal, but my life-line to other women dealing with infertility.

After many prayers (and reading Hannah's Hope, Chapter 5 a million times), I decided to let this person know how I felt. I wrote a very sincere email and shared my feelings. Here is a snipet of what I wrote:

I recently bought a book called Hannah's Hope: Seeking God's Heart in the Midst of Infertility. Hannah in the Bible had a hard time having a baby. Hannah prayed and prayed for a son and even promised God that she would give him up, if she could only be a mother. When God finally blessed her with a son, she did as she promised and gave him back to the Lord. The book tells of how Hannah felt, her relationship with others, and how she overcame infertility. I got home yesterday and immediately found my book and began to read Chapter 5: Put Yourself in My Shoes (Before You Put Your Foot in Your Mouth). It talks about how well-meaning friends and family members can make it even more challenging by saying and doing things that can hurt. It goes on to say that people who haven't walked in our shoes have no idea of the depths to which we grieve and experience anger and hopelessness while trying to have a baby. It also says that when appropriate circumstances present themselves with friends and family who are open to listening, take time to lovingly explain how and why you are made uncomfortable or upset. So I am taking this opportunity to share with you about how this made me feel on Mother's Day. I do wish though that on occasion you would consider what I might be feeling and experiencing before you send me pictures like that...especially on Mother's Day. Please be patient with me. I do not want you to feel like you can't say anthying to me or share things from your heart, but at the same time, I am sensitive...and I can't make any excuses for that.

I have faith that I will be blessed with a baby...whether by getting pregnant or through adoption. I know that God has BIGGER and BETTER things planned for me after this journey. He is just teaching me how to be more sensitive, appreciative, and to learn how precious a life really is. I want you to understand how I feel, although it is something that you may never fully understand. But above all, please keep me in your ongoing prayers. And every now and then, email me, call me, or drop me a note in the mail just to remind me that you are praying for me.

Those of you that have read Hannah's Hope, know that I pulled a lot of information from the book. It is SUCH a great book!

I feel a lot better now that I have sent this email and am so glad that I sought God's direction as how to handle my feelings. Again, thanks for sharing your thoughts on how you would react and please keep praying for me as I go through this journey.

I Need Your Help and Advice...

Okay ladies...I really need your help and Godly-advice on a situation that I have been praying on the past two days. Here's the deal...

I recently received something (sorry for being so vague, but I don't want to give out too much information just yet) that truly made my heart hurt. Those of you that are experiencing the ups and downs of infertility know that the WORST holiday EVER is Mother's Day (and Father's Day, for all of your hubbies too). Well, I chose to spend this special holiday with my mom...for several reasons: 1) Because I think she is the BEST mom of ALL times, 2) I knew it would make her day to have all of her girls together on her special day, and 3) To be in a safe place on the ONE holiday that is sometimes unbearable!

Those people that are closest to me, know and understand how I feel, as well as know what would and wouldn't be appropriate to say or do in my presence on Mother's Day. Unfortunately, I received something that really hurt my heart from someone that SHOULD know how I feel...and on Mother's Day no less. As soon as I got home, I picked up a book that I read not too long ago called Hannah's Hope and turned immediately to Chapter 5: Put Yourself in My Shoes (Before you Put your Foot in Your Mouth). I read it at least TWICE to try and understand why people can be so...insensitive.

Long story short, I need your help and advice on how I should respond. Here are a few scenarios that have been playing around in my head.

A. Do nothing. Know that God has a plan for us and that it is unfortunate that I received this something.

B. Share with this person how much this truly hurt me, especially on a holiday when my emotions are already on edge.

C. Express my true feelings at how HATEFUL I think this gesture was and that I cannot understand how someone could be so unthoughtful.

What do you think? A, B, or C?

I have decided to sleep on it tonight. I will pray about it until I fall asleep, pray some more when I wake up, and look forward to seeing your suggestions tomorrow.

Maxine Monday...

Let's see what Maxine has come up with today on this Maxine Monday...

Do you know why I find this Maxine Monday so interesting??? Because I started reading Twilight this past weekend.

And yes, I am ADDICTED!!!

I was very unsure about reading this series...afterall, it IS about vampires, right? Well, to be honest, I am only on the fifth chapter on the first book and I haven't heard anything about vampires yet...but my inferencing skills have told me otherwise.

So we'll see how it goes...but like I said, I'm ADDICTED!!!

So maybe Maxine is right...do the weather forecasters predict the exact time of sunrise and sunset for vampires like Edward Cullen????

Endurance...

Endurance is the ability or strength to continue, despite fatigue, stress, or other adverse conditions.



This year my DH and I set a goal to run the Gate River Run in Jacksonville during the month of March. Although I did not finish the entire 15K, I was very proud of myself for running 6 of the 9 miles. I do have to brag and say that the DH DID finish the entire race...so proud of him! But before we could even THINK about attempting the race, we first had to build up our endurance.

We started off running one mile for a few days, then running two miles for a few days, and so on, until we had enough endurance to run the entire race. I am NOT a runner, never have been, and to be honest...I am always talking to myself when I am running saying "Why? Why are you doing this to yourself?" But, we made a promise to eat healthier and to excercise MORE. So I endured these questions until I could complete the race.

After the race, actually as soon as I crossed the finish line, I can't even begin to express to you how AWESOME it felt!! Although, I was in so much pain, with legs that felt like they weighed 1000 pounds EACH, and with aching toenails (I just lost one today by the way) I knew all the pain I had endured was SO worth it all! I was so proud of myself, and proud of the DH, that we actually fulfilled our New Year's Resolution.

Our running experience reminds me of a similar situation that we are dealing with every single day...Infertility! I know that all the pain we are enduring right now will be just an afterthought after we cross the finish line and become parents. We have made a decision to continue to press forward with a smile on our faces, rejoicing--even in the hard times, and praying for the endurance we need to continue this race.

"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation"~Romans 5:3-4.

Different Plans...

So...we didn't win one of the FOUR free IVF's given at the Fertility Seminar today. But, we did witness four couples that were ECSTATIC!!! And can you blame them???? What an awesome gift a FREE IVF would be :)

Although we were a little disappointed, we realize that God has different plans for us. Plans that only HE knows and plans that we will continue to wait patiently for.

Thanks for all the wonderful comments and especially all the prayers!!!